When she says 'I don't have time to talk'

Picture this: you approach a girl, say hello, and she shoots back with,

"Sorry, I don't have time to talk."

At that moment, you’ve got a range of options for how to respond. The average guy might feel a little stung, mumble "Okay," and walk away. In fact, most guys never even muster the courage to approach a woman at all. But for those who do, this is often how they end up reacting.

Now, imagine a different scenario. When she says, "Sorry, I don't have time to talk," you flash a cheeky smile and say, "No problem, apology accepted. By the way, I'm Tim."

How do you think she'd react? Chances are, she'd laugh or at least be intrigued. Why? Because you’ve just reframed the interaction.

Her initial comment suggested she was too busy, but you turned it around by focusing on her apology, making it a light-hearted moment. In doing so, you shifted the dynamic from being an interruption to her apologising to you. This is a perfect example of "frame control."

Whoever controls the frame, controls the interaction. And that’s why reframing is so crucial in dating.