Why tips and hacks stop working with women

I used to be a personal trainer, and one thing I was always taught was this: give the client what they want and what they need.

Example: Sarah is obese, needs to lose weight, and wants to do crunches to get rid of her belly fat.

We both know crunches don’t burn belly fat. Fewer calories do. But if I tell Sarah that and refuse to let her do crunches, she won’t stick around. So I give her both. Crunches and education around calorie restriction, which is what she actually needs.

In my work today, the client wants to get good with girls.

Most of the time, he’s looking for tips and hacks. That’s what he wants. He’s tried the basics, so now he wants the advanced stuff.

But you can only use advanced techniques if your nervous system is relaxed enough to experiment. If it isn’t, you’ll default to saying stupid things the moment you’re talking to a girl you actually care about.

How do I know this?

I’ve known incredibly smart men who were deeply educated on the entire academic history of PUA and still couldn’t seduce women.

Knowledge is only knowledge when you can implement it. That means it has to exist not just in your brain, but in your nervous system. Until then, it’s information, no matter how much is stored in the grey matter.

So how do you build a relaxed nervous system?

You expose yourself consistently to the thing that dysregulates you, in manageable doses, until it no longer does. In this case, women.

You also do this progressively.

If you’re comfortable approaching sixes, you don’t just keep approaching sixes. You start approaching sevens.

If you always bottle it when it’s time to invite her home, we build strategies so you actually bite the bullet instead of avoiding the moment.

This is how confidence is built. Not through thinking, but through graduated exposure where your nervous system learns it can handle the situation.

What my coaching does specifically is provide a third-person perspective on your first-person experience.

You might not think you have blind spots, and that is exactly why they are called blind spots.

You really can turn this part of your life around pretty quickly when you apply yourself. It’s about being open enough to let someone else listen in. Honestly, the results can be astonishing. Take Joel, who I worked with, who is now dating his dream girl and also became a dating coach.

I’ll talk more about client results in future emails, but for now, if you have any particular sticking points you want my feedback on, send me a email at timothy@timothyrobinson.me or if you want to book a consultation with me specifically you can apply here

And next week’s , I’ll talk about what it’s been like for me getting back in front of the camera consistently after nearly a two-year hiatus, and the lesson I’ve taken from it that I think you can apply as well.